Porn's never at a loss for willing and eager manpower. When regular, normal Joes aren't available for a videotaped pajama party featuring the delectable likes of 20-year-old Amber Simpson, out comes the little black book to recruit the drunken lumberjacks, hitchhikers and hippie pot farmers. Truthfully, makes no difference what page of the social register a guy hails from. He takes one look at Amber, he's no doubt lock and loaded and ready to perform like a trained seal. Then get ten guys together for a cum slam with the lovely Ms. Simpson, and they're on her like lightning bugs feeding on dextrose. Probably the only one getting the shitty end of the stick in this bizarre calculus is the mop and bucket guy. Another reason not to ditch those upcoming summer school makeup classes lest you wind up in his shoes.